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Let’s Get Personal

Alright, it’s Friday, let’s get a little personal. I have Borderline Personality Disorder. If you’re not aware, it is a disorder that causes me challenges in regulating my emotions. I’m constantly having very deep, changing emotions often just under the surface.

On top of that, I’m a writer. I enjoy telling stories and eliciting emotions from an audience. I’ve recently left a pretty nice full time job due to my BPD and anxiety issues. Writing feels right. It feels like what I should be doing with my life.

Well, the other day, I pitched my story poorly at the Barbershop and I’m still battling self-doubts and criticisms about not only my pitch but also my story and myself. Because it must all be tied together. But no, Dialectical Behavior Theory (DBT) teaches us that there is more nuance in life. Your writing does not define you. Your art does not give you value. Even if you were to stop making art tomorrow, you would still have value and worth in this world.

Sorry, as a person who has also struggled with severe depression and suicidality in the past, sometimes I just need to hear those things. “Your writing does not define you.”

So, as always, I’ve been trying to alleviate the doubts, and grow the confidence. How do I do that?

The doubts – Talk ’em out. With a loved one or a friend, or a professional counselor (or all three if you’re me). Allow someone to reassure you. If you won’t listen to yourself, at least listen to the people who want to help you.

The criticisms – Use ’em. Analyze them. Do they hold water? Are they credible? Then use them and make changes to whatever you’re working on. Improve it.

Alright, my lunch break’s over and I’ve gotta get back to my writing. I hope this helped someone! Have a great Friday and a stellar weekend. Peace and love.

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